We try to find someone to blame for our moments of discomfort; we try to find someone to share our moments of happiness with. Though it is the pain, the sadness, and the discontent within ourselves that causes us to perform this irrational act. Instead of looking within us and taking responsibility for those feelings, we look around and try to pinpoint the person to blame for our misfortune. Yes, I admit that pain can at some moments be caused by external factors. But I solemnly believe that it is up to us to decide how to handle this pain, for it is our own pain, and not the one of the external factor or person. No, it is not “fair” for another person might cause you to feel pain, and he or she continues life unharmed. But at any given moment, we have two choices: crawl in our pity corner and feel sorry for ourselves while being disappointed by or even angry at the person or situation causing this feeling in the first place. OR we can look in our internal mirror and see, why this person or situation gets to us in the first place. Why we are hurt. Because OUR pain is OUR pain.
Actually, when I get to it, any feeling is ours to have. Nobody can feel what you feel. Therefore it is your own responsibility to take care of your internal world of feelings. The same way, you take care of our body, when you clean it, feed it, hydrate it, and keep it safe and warm.
I started this story thinking that maybe we got it all wrong and the question is not “Who is there to love me?” but “Who is there for me to love?”
This takes me to the second part. The taking care part.
Take care. Take care of your life, the circumstances you are in. You created them, sometimes unconscious. Yes it is hard to believe, but the choices you made let to the situation you are in, right here, right now. Whether they be good or bad, they were your choices. Be kind and gentle to yourself and don’t blame yourself for bad choices. You’re still learning. It is not about how we fall, but about how we get back up.
Take care of your body; you have only one in this life. Don’t neglect it and let other people pay for it in the future. Unfortunately, our current health system supports only the healing of illnesses, not the prevention of them. But don’t let that stop you from showing them wrong. Yes, you can do it!
And last, but definitely not least, take care of your thoughts and feeling, for they co-create everything else mentioned before, such as your circumstances and health. It is difficult to perceive the conscious and unconscious thoughts in your head all the time, but once you become more and more aware of them, you will see that it gets easier to control them instead of them controlling you. You are not a victim of your life. Vouch for your choices. Take 100% responsibility. Become what you create, and create what makes you happy.
That is true freedom!
Do things that make you happy. Love. Love the people around you. Your family, your friend, a stranger in the bus. Real happiness comes from the love that flows through you, within you.
Which brings me back to my initial question. “Who is there for me to love?”
I didn’t have to think much to realise my list is long, which made me happy and put a smile on my face.
You might look for another person to love you, because you think you need this other person to feel this way. But realise that another person can merely remind you of or awake the love that is already inside you. It was there all along. From the moment you were born.
So now think about your list. It might be difficult in the beginning. It might feel to short. Don’t worry. It can grow, every day, every hour, every minute. You may add people you already know or new people that cross your path in the future. Remind yourself of the list every now and then, maybe when you need it or feel alone. And realise, that you are not. You are there, all the time, taking care. And so is everyone else.